YOU'RE IN GOOD HANDS, PENN STATE
DAMMIT, DEREK.
If Vandy plays like they did against Temple and plays three QBs, Ole Miss has people in the secondary that will maim receivers in a remorseless fashion. Karl Dorrell is their offensive coordinator. They're gonna play three QBs. People will be harmed.
SADLY LET'S PROVIDE SOME CONTEXT AND RUIN A JOKE. WELL ACTUALLY that policy statement by Ohio State suggesting fans report other fans for standing is slightly misleading. Shelley Meyer says the idea behind the policy is to eject those who are blind drunk and posing a noxious hazard for other fans, and that standing is just one thing in a laundry list of other, far more obstructive and nasty behaviors. If the Big Ten has a moribund fan problem, it does not start at Ohio State, which is loud as hell and full of people very happy to spend most of a game standing even when it's fucking freezing and you really might want to curl up and give into sweet hypothermic death.
We do think there should be an old Alumni section in every stadium for those who don't want to stand, by the way. It can have its own unsalted food and everything. You judge a society by how it treats its old people and kids? Well, keep the kids away from the game until they're old enough to understand how special profanity is, and give the senior citizens their own Luby's-on-the-Olentangy. "This section does not receive wireless, and never will. It also contains special baffling technology to prevent hip-hop from passing into the ears of its occupants."
In conclusion: Shelley Meyer stands like a damn soldier through games in the stands. Salute.
OH IT IS SO VERY BEAUTIFUL. We mentioned it in the Acrostical by metaphor, but the actual mechanics of how Texas A&M dismantled South Carolina are way, way more beautiful. Fun fact! Kenny Hill hit his first read most of the time, which is one reason to be very worried about the Gamecocks on defense, and one reason to be slightly circumspect about Hill's overall potential this season. Someone will make him go to his second read, and when he does you'll figure out exactly how good he is. (Likely answer: very good, but still sadly human.)
ALSO VERY BEAUTIFUL: Smart Football breaking down Michigan State's defense.
KEEP REACHING THOSE STRAWS ARE ENDLESS. Pat Fitzgerald has wristbands and bloggers to blame, but he can keep going if you like.
OGRE TIME. Stanford's offensive line remains a thing of art, if not subtlety. Let it be known that they've seen the internet art made for them, and were impressed and pleased.
ETC: Netw3rk doing the Day at the Races with Wes Welker.