Gadzooks, what a handsome bastard David Beckham is. He may not know that's not a car, but a boat. He may not be able to perform basic maths (hullo British readers.) He may not even know where he is right now. It doesn't matter, because David Beckham is basically the Minister of the Smugchequer, and could keep the Pound afloat through sheer unbridled confidence and smirking. (P.S. David Beckham has no idea where he is going. Please send the British Navy after him, as he will run out of gas before reaching the French coast.)