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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 4/18/2013
D.R.U.G.S. ARE A POSITIVE THING NO TRUST US IT'S AN ACRONYM WAIT-- OKAY. So that hat stands for "Do Right U Gain Success," and is part of Waka Flocka's new tour gear, and let's just save that for when...
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Adopt an NBA playoff team: The Memphis Grizzlies
The Memphis Grizzlies are in the playoffs. You should support them and everything they are for the following reasons.1. The Grizzlies are the NBA's WitSec success story. They lived a fine,...
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LOUISVILLE'S 2013 SCHEDULE: A SAD SHORT STORY COLLECTION
First off: this is not Louisville's fault. They have tried to bolster their schedule, are moving conferences, and are doing everything possible to not be where they are schedule-wise. They beat the...
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LET'S FOCUS ON OUR FINEST AMERICANS: LINEMEN
"Being gay won’t do nothing for you," Turner said. "If I knew I was lining up in front of somebody that was gay, I’m going to pancake him and sit on him just like I would on anybody else."--Trai...
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(The other) Randy Moss, NFL draft correspondent
Don't get too excited when your eyes land on the final name in this sample of names the NFL Network will be using as correspondents on draft day:2c. The NFL Network will have reporters at multiple...
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ANTHONY DIXON VERSUS COWBELLS: A TALE OF SOCIAL MEDIA WARFARE
Starkville, if you have never been there, is a charming college town of small stature and, um...an efficiently trim list of entertainment options. There aren't many dining options, and by that we mean...
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The Big Ten newsdumps in spectacular fashion
No one ever liked the Big Ten's division names for a lot of reasons. The divisions were not totally geographically aligned, they were hard to remember, and they were strive-y management-speak in a...
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FLORIDA: A FOOTBALL STATE WITH AN STD PROBLEM
You give us the STD rates for an entire state, and you're damn right we'll match them up by fanbase. The really dark blue spots on the map are the worst for STD rates in the state, and Florida State is...
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YOU ARE NOW PANTSLESS, LADIES
We're running behind this morning--DAMN YOU GRIZZLIES--so here's something for the ladies in the form of Kliff Kingsbury, Wes Welker, and an adorable puppy. One of them isn't housetrained, and Bill...
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AN OPEN LETTER TO AUBURN WHO SHOULD HAVE MORE FUN
The only interesting thing about DJ Fluker's Twitter feed producing an admission of taking money from agents is the reaction from Alabama fans contrasted with the reaction of Auburn fans.Auburn, one of...
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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 4/24/2013
NO, DON'T STOP, YOU'RE GETTING BETTER AT THIS WE SWEAR. The office was dark. Florida offensive coordinator Brent Pease had not slept in 28 hours. His floor was littered with cans of Red Bull. "Potter....
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NFL Draft 2013: Scouting the scouts
The run-up to the NFL draft features the annual anonymous pillorying of select college prospects by NFL scouts, who are long overdue for their own time beneath the merciless eye of the scouting...
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TENNESSEE'S SALARY CAP JUST GOT LOWER
The only thing you should remember from reading the entirety of the FBI's affidavit covering their investigation of Pilot and Flying J's corporate practices is this: if you work as an executive at...
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RUTGERS STOP BEING SO SEXY
We may bemoan the state of Florida photoshop, but then right there on time there's Rutgers coming to the rescue. Bro you want to come to Rutgers. You want to see these pecs. You want to share bronzer...
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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 4/25/2013
GONNA KEEP THAT THANK YOU. Only one man in the recent anecdotal history of the New York Stock Exchange has taken the gavel he rang the markets open with as a souvenir, and that man is a gigantic...
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THE ALEX JONES MOCK DRAFT
Radio host Alex Jones is a deranged conspiracy theorist, and thus likely a football fan like the rest of us. Here is his mock draft. 1. WITH MY FIRST DRAFT PICK I SELECT ROBOT PEDOPHILE ARMY....
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With their first draft pick, the Cowboys take "Matt Frederick"
The Cowboys drafted Matt Frederick last night. Or Wisconsin offensive lineman Travis Frederick. Whatever: Mr. Frederick was drafted, and just buy the jersey because it says "DRAFT PICK" on the back,...
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FRIDAY RANDOM: BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO WAS A THING THAT EXISTED
If you have ever complained about Netflix, Amazon Video, or any other streaming video service, you should be deported to the year 1998, and forced to find cheap entertainment on a Friday night in...
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Brawling on Everest
You might think brawling at 24,500 feet above sea level is a bad idea. You are likely not a Sherpa, and do not take climbing etiquette as seriously as Sherpas do. Knock some ice onto them while...
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OFFSEASON DEMENTIA: I WENT INTO A COORS LIGHT CAN
I walked into the Coors Light can a skateboarder...AND I EXITED A RAD SURFER DUDE: I went into a giant Coors light can a secretary from Ohio and came out as A WEREWOLF WITH SHINGLES.I went into a giant...
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