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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 6/27/2012

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THE NEW WORLD, CONTINUED. Mmm, sounds like a cavalry charge, or men in suits with lapel pins riding pimped-out miniature ponies toward a hill made of money.

Dvorak wrote that after a visit to America, but please notice that parts of it still sound a lot like Cossacks burning villages to the ground. This is pretty much what happened in the creation of a playoff, but here we are. Hey, links!

IT'S LANDMARKISH. Andy Staples recognizes the moment as a historic one, which it is. If Michael Jordan can suggest that the Dream Team kicking the shit out of some poor Angolans is the most historic event in the history of ever, then we feel comfortable going on a tiny limb and saying this is a historic one for college football. Bill C. says it's cool, you'll still have plenty to hate.*

*The same people who pre-playoff said "But debate is why college football is great!" will now cite this very possibility as a reason why the playoff sucks. Tawdry whores of self-justification, please pick one. Better still, ignore them because they were fucking idiots before, and are fucking idiots now because football is what's great about football, not arguing with someone who likes to argue badly.

IT'S GOT QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS. Bare essentials from Ralph Russo at the AP, a link title that sounds like the world's worst series of herbal shampoos. More haves/have-nots from Dennis Dodd, who notes like many that the Mountain West gets nothing and will like it for the next two years.

PESSIMISTIC THINGS. Dan Wolken thinks the new playoff is doomed, but that's just your opinion, man. Wetzel's not exactly pessimistic, but biting this many people in an article about the end of the BCS just lets you know he will remain the sport's rabid terrier bent on rending as many pant legs as possible before he's done.

OMG NICK SABAN IS SO SERIOUS. The most common answer to "coach I found intimidating on my recruiting visit" was Nick Saban, but meeting someone in a cold room hung with mysterious flanks of unidentified meat can terrify the uninitiated. Recruits also reported that their relationship with their position coach was way more important than any they might have with a head coach, something that's great for Texas because Mack Brown's doubles do start to seem a bit inauthentic after a few interactions. (Mack Brown is played by proxies for eight to nine months of the year. It's in his contract.)

DERRICK HOPKINS IS SO HAPPY. The beautiful game has him in its thrall, and photoshop will do the rest.

STAY SAFE, COLORADO. We know two people who've already lost their houses, and the "how" here is "A fire the size of a mountain range." That's Air Force's stadium in the foreground, and please stay safe, Coloradans.

HEYYYY, BUDDAAAY. David Pollack will replace Craig James, a move that is by definition an upgrade since he is not Craig James. The Broverture Crew just got bro-ier, and that's not a bad thing.

ETC: Read this, because it is awesome.The Onion's heart: still cold, dead, and utterly admirable. Never, ever drink this much mojito, not even in a lifetime, because we are all but certain it will turn you into Jon Secada instantly. That's a fairly accurate Skrillex. C.C. Sabathia's ass is truly amazing. Jon Bois on watching baseball with me, basically. Is Spain a boring team? Well, that depends on your definition of boring. Let's not go to lunch at Abdallah's today.


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