THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL SALUTES FLORIDA MAN

WE'RE ALL JUST STARDUST MAN

1. Someone had to do it, and of course that someone is an asshole who lives in Brooklyn. Fortunately, this particular asshole did a really good job of channeling Florida Man. It's a hair under 50 minutes of long stares into cameras, random discussions about fighting, pills, taking three naps a day, dogs, watching the sunset, getting arrested, how we're all just stardust, and about the difference between being dumb and stupid.

2. The following points are things that are completely fucking on point here.

3. Dudes who got DUIs toodling around on bikes.

4. Random guy outside a hotel toting a car battery into a room

5. Random guy at the laundromat with his pit bull talking about busting another guy in the face with brass knuckles.

6. Same random guy talking about hopping a train to escape the police.

7. This guy and his wife, who appear to be the happiest people on the planet.

8. A huge chunk of this being shot in Tampa/St. Pete.

9. The biker guy doing tai chi in the parking lot of a tattoo parlor at night

10. The liquor store owner just talkin' about the Lightning's chances in the playoffs while smoking

11. The guy talking about how dirty a pond is and how people litter and throw garbage everywhere

12. That same guy pointing out a bike he just threw into the pond

13. Dude getting deep philosophical in front of a Waffle House

14. This guy:

15. The bike-throwing littering guy saying "life can end at anytime" while wearing a Jets hat.

Good morning, you can watch it, you didn't need to get anything done today.