THE AFTERNOON CONSTITUTIONAL SALUTES A HERO

YOU ONLY GET ONE CHANCE TO THROW/ YOU ONLY GET THIS OPPORTUNITY ONCE TO LASSO

There are so few moments in life where you know you, and only you, are the only possible person for the situation. Frankly, we don't know or can't remember if we've ever had one of those moments at random: the instant when you do, in fact have the jumper cables, or can indeed fix the cable car motor to avoid certain doom for you and your fellow passengers. Those moments in life are so rare, and even rarer if you're as useless as the average person.*

*Or like us, more useless than the already useless average person

But this man: this man had his moment.

Note the ladder, indicating that they probably were on a worksite and got the radiopsychic bulletin LLAMA ALERT that only people with lasso skills get through the atmospheric wavesphere. Peep the extra boss Dodge Ram that looks like it's got busted apholstery, at least three empty bags of chips on the floor, and possibly a cupholder full of spent .22 shells and/or a dip cup. The hood has sun damage because its driver did some drywall work on the Sun. It was hot, but overtime is overtime no matter how long the commute might be.

Note most importantly that the approach these guys decided on was that the guy should stand up in the back of the pickup truck and try to lasso the animal from the truck. This made sense because the dude in the back said: I GOT THIS. Not "oh, I used to lasso stuff for fun in Boy Scouts." A real, bulletproof confidence that in the middle of the day, perhaps while throwing a gas station sandwich in the back of the truck, that with no warm-up he could get the llama where Animal Control failed.

And on the second attempt, he did, and after a few handshakes drove home and back into his daily life. Excuse me.

THIS MAN SHOULD BE KNIGHTED. THIS IS THE KIND OF FEAT THAT WON YOU LANDS, PRIVILEGES, AND TITLES IN SOCIETIES OF AGRICULTURE AND HERDING. JUST ONCE LIFE OFFERED UP A KEYHOLE AND ONLY HE HAD THE NECESSARY IMPLEMENT TO TURN THE DOORS OF GLORY AND LET THE SUNSHINE OF GENIUS FLOW THROUGH THE FRAME. THIS IS THE KIND OF THING THAT BYPASSES "NEWS" AND INTO LORE. AND TOMORROW, SOMEWHERE IN PHOENIX, THIS DUDE IS PROBABLY GONNA WALK INTO A QT AND GET ANOTHER BISCUIT SANDWICH LIKE HE'S NOT A GOD WALKING THE EARTH.  A GOD WHO WON'T GET HIS SANDWICH BOUGHT FOR HIM FOR THE HONOR OF FREEING THE CITY OF PHOENIX FROM THE TYRANNY OF DISTORTED INCA-GOAT-MONSTERS.

This man is great. Please buy his sandwiches for him forever, Phoenix.