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BIG TEX IS ON FIRE

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Thank you, ma'am, but I'll be fine. No, no, just a little scratch, I can walk this off. I'm from Texas. We're all big and we're all strong enough to take care of ourselves. I appreciate the concern, though. Roll? Naw, that'd be givin' in to something that ain't worth the notice anyway. Either it will go away or I will. Famous philosopher said that. Pretty sure it was Fred Akers.

Wish that wind would die down a little. But that's living. By the way, if you see Manny Diaz, tell him he and his gas can need to have a conversation with yours truly. I'm gonna go lay in a tub of ice and let the healing begin. I got three bottles of whiskey for the pain and Robert Earl Keen for what the body can't heal. Y'all call me on Wednesday to make sure I'm alive.

P.S. Don't call the fire department. That's just what the government wants you to do.


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