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DONNA SHALALA HITS THE CLUB

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The NCAA admitted wrongdoing in its case against Miami yesterday, giving the Hurricanes and their administrators reason to celebrate. As Miami does, they went to the club.

11:15 p.m. After being kicked out of a five hour dinner at 1500 Degrees, Miami President Donna Shalala and entourage arrive at LIV. Shalala parks on curb, leaves note reading "PARK IN COLON OF NCAA."

11:32 p.m. "The forecast calls for...HURRICANES!!! DALE!!!!"

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11:50 p.m. Longtime Shalala confidant Trina and Senator Marco Rubio join Shalala in VIP. Shalala offers Rubio bottle of water, then hurriedly pulls it away and takes a sip. They laugh.

12:35 a.m. Bottles.

12:58 a.m. Shalala nods in direction of former Miami coach Jimmy Johnson, who exits the building a few seconds later with a blushing Serena Williams on his arm.

1:18 a.m. Al Golden challenges Shalala to full-count Stalingrad Bottle Siege. Shalala accepts.

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"CALL ME THE SECRETARY OF WEALTH AND BOOMIN' TWERKVICES" Shalala roared as she finished the bottle, and then shattered it on the ground in celebration. More bottles were ordered.

1:56 a.m. A glum Randy Shannon is turned away at the door, and walks away shaking his head.

2:34 a.m. Shalala takes the dance floor.

3:22 a.m. An altercation ends the evening. One young male is taken to the hospital.

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He is listed in critical condition.


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