Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn are a couple, and FACEBOOK IS ON IT:
Lindsey, I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. Tiger would never do the things to you that he did to Elin. This time it's different. I mean after all Elin was only his wife and the mother of his children...--Mitzi Wilkinson Champion
"Oh god," thought Lindsey, reeling as she fell back from the laptop. He said she died in the hurricanes! She dove off the balcony and into the waters below his seaside castle, swimming away as fast as she could. I'd be in that trap right now if it weren't for you, Ms. Champion. Thank you.
Obviously all those crashes are affecting your brain function. Hopefully you have good health insurance. Your gonna need a lot of penicillin.--Max VanNostrand
Dr. Van Nostrand put the laptop down, and continued the brain surgery on the President that no one was supposed to know about because Dr. Van Nostrand was also the CIA agent and a model in his spare time but can't tell you about it because that's just not how secrets work.
N----r lover. --Mike Derrick
Surprisingly, Mr. Derrick, a native of Louisiana, is listed as "divorced" in his profile, and made this comment in public in the year 2013, except without the dashes we put in the middle of a racial slur. His likes include Tom Clancy, Two and a Half Men, golf, and "Flo the Progressive Girl." He is an awful human being.
Let's end this on a positive note, Facebook:
I LIKE !!!!!! Congrats and lots of happiness from Abu Dhabi!! --Nessa T Accardo
At least the United Arab Emirates still believes in love. (Next time: close the comments, y'all. Close them forever.)