SOMEONE JUST FAILED THEIR BANKHEAD BOUNCE TEST
A lot of things happened at Ole Miss/Vandy last night. This was one of them. Godfrey wrote about the rest, but if you'd like GIFs of poor Jordan Matthews puking up a gallon of Gatorade after taking a flying tackle straight to the stomach, there's that, too. The end of that game qualifies as a stroke, and if you watched it please seek a medical consult immediately.
IF CLOWNEY WASN'T SO POORLY CONDITIONED HE COULD HAVE AVOIDED THIS. That's not true, but someone was thinking it because people can be very stupid.
RESPECT TOWSON THEY GAVE US, UM...STACEY KEIBLER? And the season's first nutpunch of an FCS upset of an FBS team, since they did beat UConn last night and firmly established themselves as the dominant football program in the state of Maryland. If this were the Tour de France, UConn would have a firm grasp on the Lanterne Rouge after one stage.
RON PRINCE SHALL LEAD THE KINGDOM. To a failed two-point conversion in a 52-51 loss to Fresno State, who threw the ball SEVENTY-THREE TIMES against Rutgers, and whose quarterback, Derek Carr, is now dead from exhaustion. #RIPDCarr
NEVER FORGET THAT FOR A FEW GLORIOUS MINUTES HAWAI'I LED USC BY A SCORE OF 5-3. That's not even a link, it's just something we want to cherish forever as a moment when the sun shone with a special luster and the breeze carried soft jasmine to our nose.
CHUCKIE KEETON URRTHANG. They lost, but Utah State still has Chuckie Keeton and you do not.
ETC: What in the blue hell are you doing Metallica--