Mostly you should be watching to see if France implode. And if they don't against Honduras, fear not: there will be other games.
Ecuador vs. Switzerland (12:00 p.m ET)
Where: Estadio Nacional, Brasilia. More fully known as Estadio Nacional de Mané Garrincha, after the legendary Brazilian soccer player Garrincha.
What I'm watching Switzerland for: Okay, "watching" is a generous word for a game that comes on in prime errand team involving a Swiss team that has allowed just one goal in its last seven World Cup games. Switzerland is a stingy, defensive-minded squad, so you can expect little in the way of offense coming or going here. Honestly, you might want to go grocery shopping. That's practical advice, something we imagine the Swiss have to respect.
What I'm watching Ecuador for: Mostly attacks along the wings from la Tri, and then a long wait to see if the back four can hold against Switzerland's underpowered attack. If this is sounding like the tourney's first clanker and a probably 0-0 draw, well, that is indeed where this feels like it's heading.
Announcers: Adrian Healey, Alejandro Moreno
Watchability:2/10, go have a nice brunch and call your dad
France vs. Honduras (3:00 p.m. ET)
Where: Estadio Beira-Rio in Porto Alegre. Located right on the banks of the Guaîba River, it's one of the cooler geographic settings for this World Cup.
What I'm watching France for: The demonstrated ability to annihilate a lesser opponent, as France should be able to do since they happen to be very good this time around. On paper, the French midfield should steamroll Honduras, control the ball, and waltz out of this game with a win and a hefty goal differential. In reality, this is a French team at the World Cup, and that can go a lot of different ways-- including the very, very bad ones. But it's different this time, says France, looking in the mirror and nodding uneasily. It's totally different.
What I'm watching Honduras for: Brave survival in a lopsided matchup against a superior team? Honduras has breathtaking beaches. Let's remember those breathtaking beaches at a moment like this, Honduras.
Announcers: Daniel Mann, Kasey Keller
Watchability:4/10, provided France at least gives the viewer the reward of a quick blowout.
Argentina vs. Bosnia and Herzegovina (6:00 p.m.)
Where: Maracanã, Rio de Janeiro. (Thank you, Brazil, for teaching me all the shortcuts on typing accents on a Mac.)
What I'm watching Argentina for: Defensive cohesion, really, since any team with Messi, Higuain, and Agüero up front has zero concerns offensively. Argentina's defense isn't top-flight, their goalkeeping situation hasn't been inspiring, and..um...Messi? We mentioned LIONEL MESSI, right? We should just say "MESSI" over and over again and hope the rest catches up, Argentina.
What I'm watching Bosnia and Herzegovina for: To see if Edin Dzeko can make a few things happen, keep Bosnia and Herzegovina alive, and maybe compensate for some of Bosnia and Herzegovina's defensive shortcomings. (Which are much, much worse than Argentina's.) On the positive side, they are called "The Dragons," easily one of the top five team nicknames of the tournament. Not even a likely 4-1 loss to Argentina can take that away from them.
Announcers: Derek Rae and Roberto Martinez
Watchability: Easily the best matchup on a lackluster day, we'll give this game a conservative 6/10 for what should at least be an interesting first half.