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BAMA NEEDS AN OPPONENT AND THERE IS ONLY ONE ANSWER
WHAT HAS TWO EYES, FEATHERS, AND IS UNDEFEATED AGAINST THE CRIMSON TIDE?You want to fill that hole in your schedule up, well, Alabama, we got some suggestions. A few of them are obvious: the teams...
View ArticleNotes on Kanye West's wedding/audition to become an NFL owner
1. I was in line for groceries on the late night dad beat last week and these very dull visitors from somewhere not here were speaking in flat, monotonous accents about their church group. I want to...
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How long could you make it as an NFL coach?
You wake up in the body of a man trying to survive the rigors of an NFL season. How long do you make it?Let's play a little thought experiment theater here, NFL/Kafka style. As you awake one morning...
View ArticleMario Kart time trials: a real thing
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/PpxDuNFBVj8" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe> It took me until the release of Mario Kart 8 to realize competitive time-trialing...
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BOW BEFORE YOUR NEW HYPE VIDEO GOD
MIKE THE TIGER SAYS YOU DON'T SAY A SEVEN MINUTE HYPE VIDEO WELL SURE I WILL Just skip to 2:41 for Sleigh Bells and OH MY GOD HOW DID HIGHLIGHT FILMS EVER EXIST BEFORE SLEIGH BELLS. There is hope in...
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OLE MISS RECLAIMS MULTIPLE CHAMPIONSHIPS
A DISASTROUS CHARGE AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT A FUMBLEOXFORD, MS (AP) ---- Sitting in a lawn chair in front of his apartment in Oxford, former Sig Ep brother Tucker McCrae of Ole Miss believes Auburn is doing...
View ArticleRio World Cup prep, chapter four: Arnold goes to Rio
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/pdIjJ8efftk" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe> We're sure this is EXACTLY what Rio is going to look like, even thirty years...
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Need a World Cup team to root for? This chart is for you
This one flowchart will help you decide where your World Cup rooting interests lie, and which team is you personified.There are 32 teams in the World Cup, and for those without existing allegiances...
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THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL IS PLAYING MINECRAFT
BUT KENTUCKY ALREADY HAS AN IMAGINARY FOOTBALL STADIUMIt's true: Lego stadiums are played out, and the new hotness is creating every single SEC stadium in Minecraft. (Via @Kleph) They haven't done...
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THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL TAKES YOUR ASS TO COURT
LEGGOOOOOO[sing to the tune of the V-103 Friday song]Oh it's court day, it's court dayIt's the first day of the week and it's court dayO'Bannon it's on youSo what you gonna dooooo--I'm gonna file a...
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Watch John Oliver accurately describe the plight of every sports fan on the...
1. John Oliver's gotten really, really good at his job really, really quickly. Everyone will watch this today, and then share it on your social media platform of choice with "WATCH JOHN OLIVER SHRED...
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NICK SABAN LOOKS AWESOME IN A BOAT
THAT'S THE WHOLE THESIS. HE LOOKS JUST LOOKS FANTASTIC AT SEA.We have mocked the man's football, style, and lack of height. We have derided his team as the worst manifestation of soulless...
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For the person with zero going on in their life
At last, the beverage for the person who doesn't want to leave a single percentage point unused, but wants that perfect ZERO LIFE. (Via Paul.)
View ArticleBarkley Marathon documentary is predictably insane
The Atlantic made a 22 minute documentary about the 2014 Barkley Marathon, a forbidding ultramarathon run through hellaciously hilly Morgan County, Tennessee. It only took the sole finisher in the...
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MATLOCK VS. THE NCAA
IT'D TAKE LESS THAN 44 MINUTES[a Dixieland jazz refrain plays]A courtroom in Oakland, California. Ben Matlock strides to the front of the courtroom. NCAA counsel: Objection! Opposing counsel is...
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World Cup watchability: Croatia vs. Brazil
There's only one game on Thursday, and it's a good one.Teams: Croatia v. BrazilWhere: Arena Corinthians in Sao Paulo, which most importantly is in BRAZIL, where the BRAZILIAN TEAM will be playing in...
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World Cup Watchability: Kung-fu kick reunions and kangaroos
Seriously, Tim Cahill is a damn kangaroo.Mexico vs. Cameroon (aka THE WORLD'S ONLY RIVALRY CONTINUES) Where: Arena Das Dunas, Natal. Probably the best stadium built for the World Cup, Arena das Dunas'...
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World Cup viewing guide: Avoid Greece and you're golden
There are four group-stage games today, and fortunately for those of us who enjoy soccer only one of them involves Greece.Colombia vs. Greece (12:00 p.m. ET) Where: Estadio Mineirão, in Belo Horizonte....
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World Cup viewing guide: Do you like blowouts? If so, good news!
Mostly you should be watching to see if France implode. And if they don't against Honduras, fear not: there will be other games.Ecuador vs. Switzerland (12:00 p.m ET)Where: Estadio Nacional, Brasilia....
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World Cup viewing guide: USA! USA! USA! USA! (and Germany-Portugal)
Germany vs. Portugal (12:00 p.m. ET)Where: Arena Fonte Nova, Salvador. You know, the part of Brazil where Anthony Bourdain gets drunk on caipirinhas and makes you hate him even more for having his...
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