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THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL POURS MARYLAND A DRINK
IT'LL GO WRONG, BUT LET THE TERPS DRINK ANYWAYNormally the idea of wine and beer sales in stadiums is something we unilaterally support. After all, if West Virginia can do it without suffering instant...
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SHUTDOWN FULLCAST 3.6: THE RIVALRIES EPISODE
WE DISCUSS RIVALRIES AND WHY YOU HATE SIMILAR PEOPLE ONCE A YEAR WITH GREAT INTENSITYThis week's Shutdown Fullcast is not only late, it's recorded on the road with relatively poor audio quality!...
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THE MC FLIES NORTHWESTERN AIRLINES
IF NICK SABAN AND LLOYD CARR ENDORSE YOUR BUSINESS, RUN Video evidence from 1999 that the following things are true:That Lloyd Carr was considered the senior and/or more prominent football coach to...
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SHUTDOWN FULLCAST 3.7, OR THE ONE WHERE WE TALK ABOUT BREAKUPS
NEVER, EVER GO BACK ON A BREAKUP YES WE ARE LOOKING AT YOU URBANThis week's edition of the Shutdown Fullcast gets right down to business by discussing realignment five years on, the least bad ways to...
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THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL SUMMONS THE USUAL NEST OF VIPERS
HOOK 'EM, YOU TALKING SPREADSHEET, YOU If you have forgotten, let us remind you that Texas politics is a simple game. You strap a bag of snakes to your face, walk into a room full of other people with...
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IT'S JUNE 18TH SO LET'S WHISPER THIS IN YOUR EAR
NEVER TOO EARLY TO START LOOKING AHEAD Come here. No, a little closer. No, even closer, pal. Get cozy. Don't be nervous. This isn't scary. A little closer, don't make this weird. You smell nice. No...
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EMERGENCY FINEBAUM OPEN THREAD
NOT A DRILL REPEAT NOT A DRILLOH NOOOOOOOOOOOO---We're LIVE & want your reaction to @RayTannerSC's call to remove the confederate flag from the SC State House http://t.co/xnl79rB4FK — Paul Finebaum...
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Here's how Fox made bad golf TV out of the 2015 U.S. Open
Fox's U.S. Open coverage failed mightily and thoroughly.Fox bought the rights to the U.S. Open for the next 12 years. So there is at least one bright spot here: they have to get better at broadcasting...
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THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL WON'T STOP NOW
BECAUSE WE CAN'T STOP NOW It's cute, other sports. The NBA can compete for a while for sheer absurdity. The NFL tries, but fails because it is by design created to stamp every last crinkle and crease...
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SHUTDOWN FULLCAST 3.8: THE PUFF DADDY ASSAULT EPISODE
ALL WE TALK ABOUT THIS WEEK IS FIGHTING AND MAYBE A LITTLE STEVE SPURRIER KARAOKEThis week's edition of the Shutdown Fullcast throws all else to the side to discuss the time Sean "Puff Daddy" Combs...
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THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL WANTS FREE FEDEX
THE BIG 12 WON'T EXPAND UNLESS IT DOES IT HILARIOUSLYAsking whether the Big 12 can do anything correctly isn't a bad question at this point. During realignment the conference very nearly dissolved into...
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THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL SALUTES EXPLORATION
WHAT OTHER STRANGE, LIFELESS WORLDS SIT FROZEN IN THE GALAXY'S DEPTHS? We did it. And someday, with any luck, we'll reach those other, cold, desolate, and lifeless planetoids out there, those untouched...
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Actual FCC complaints from people who saw LeBron James' penis on TV
Only a few people complained to the government about seeing it, and a couple weren't actually mad, but they're all pretty good.The Federal Communications Commission receives a lot of complaints, and...
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THE ARBY'S CONSPIRACIES
WHY DOES STEVE SPURRIER VISIT THE SAME ARBY'S AFTER EVERY SEC MEDIA DAY? #tradition#arbyspic.twitter.com/vZIQcTKugQ — Elliott fry (@elliott_fry22) July 14, 20151. Years ago, while this Arby's was still...
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SHUTDOWN FULLCAST 3.11: THE MYANMAR OR ALABAMA EPISODE
FEARLESS LEADER RETURNS TO TALK ABOUT OPIUM CAMPINGThe Shutdown Fullcast returns this week with special guest Spencer Hall, senior Myanmar consultant and occasional college football writer.Highlights...
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THE MC DOES THE WHIP ON A BOAT WITH DABO
HUUUAAHHHHHHHHHHow we do on the lake #cu19#whipdance@ClemsonFBpic.twitter.com/YrWEPUUa5h — LT Yo.Dùrtty™ (@RMIII_34) July 16, 2015We're reaching the point where we can't even make fun of Dabo Swinney...
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ALBERT GOT AN EYELIFT
BIG EYES AREN'T THE WORST NEW OPTION FOR A MASCOT Albert and Alberta got eyelifts. Or eye-opens. Whatever you call it when this happens, and you end up with a much larger eye than you had before. Your...
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WAKE FOREST'S BOLD NEW MANTRA FOR 2015
IT'S POIGNANT AND ACCURATE We're not sure. You have a lot of options in life. You can fill out the spreadsheet dutifully every day, and we respect that. Flaubert wanted to erase all traces of his...
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SHUTDOWN FULLCAST 3.12: HERE LIES FOOTBALL EROTICA
THIS EPISODE COVERS THE TRULY AROUSING MOMENTS IN COLLEGE FOOTBALL PURE FOOTBALL EROTICA. That's not an exaggeration, we discuss pure football erotica this week, or at least what we find to be erotic...
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THE MC OPENS A WHATABURGER IN YOUR HEART
BRET BIELEMA CONTINUES TO DRIVE THE PROGRAM TO NEW HEIGHTSFayetteville is losing their damn minds over the opening of the town's new Whataburger, and with good reason. Whataburger is consistent and...
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