WAIT DO I HAVE TO GO TO THE LAS VEGAS BOWL AGAIN CRAP I'M OUTTA HERE
JOHNNY FOOTBALL IS LEGAL NOW. Juan Futbol turned 21 yesterday. His Twitter feed indicated he may have been enjoying his first taste of alcohol ever, as all responsible Americans wait until the legal drinking age to consume the sweet nectar of adulthood.
Twenty First. #Remembah? #Muhhhfu#Worst
— Johnny Manziel (@JManziel2) December 6, 2013Enjoy responsibly, and wait until marriage for sex.
AU REVOIR, LE ROBOT. Chris Petersen finally left Boise this morning, according to every reporter in the universe, for the U-Dub job. Petersen had very few jobs he would leave Boise for, but Washington was one, and unlike USC would let him run things pretty much his way: quietly, and without a video crew up your ass 24/7. To review: USC hired one of their former coordinators who went just above .500 at Washington, and Washington hired one of the best three or four coaches in the nation in response. (And as we're writing this, the Idaho Statesman confirms, and probably quietly excuses itself to go weep in the hallway.)
CUTCLIFFE LANDSCAPING AND FOOTBALL CONSULTATION. David Cutcliffe's job at Duke in the early days involved picking up gatorade bottles out of the grass himself.
READ THIS SLAVES READ IT NOW. Holly's viewing guide for Week 15 is mandatory and OH GOD WE'RE ALMOST OUT OF FOOTBALL.
MACK BROWN DECISION PARTY. Thank you for your service to this nation, Catlab.
IF NELLY BELIEVES YOU ARE DISRESPECTED YOU ARE BEING DISRESPECTED. This is the proper way to use a GIF in a news story.
ETC: Watch the feet. Wright Thompson wearing a gas mask for both fun AND profit. Every single damn state done in Lego is delightful, but then you see West Virginia and it gets transcendent.