THE CURIOUS INDEX, 12/5/2013

BREAKING: WYOMING IS COLD

COME ON DOWN JEFF TEDFORD

The ENTIRE state of Wyoming has temperature below 0°. pic.twitter.com/cIpOy7l3sL

— Jacob Wycoff (@4cast4you) December 5, 2013

Internet favorite Bob Stitt didn't even make the finalists, but that's just as well with Golden, Colorado looking like Cabo in comparison.

HATIN' ASS SPURRIER IS STILL REAL. We make nothing up, and merely quote the man off-record unfairly in phone conversations we have with him late at night. With our minds. Alone, laying in bed. Talking on a Fisher-Price toddler phone. (Also, Spurrier's right if you look at their strength of schedules, which won't be as much of an issue once the playoff starts, just as Spurrier's wanted for years.)

SHUT UPPPPPPPP. Nick Saban is not going to Texas Nick Saban is not going to Texas Nick Saban is not going to Texas Nick Saban is not going to Texas Nick Saban is not going to Texas Nick Saban is not going to Texas Nick Saban is not going to Texas Nick Saban is not going to Texas Nick Saban is not going to Texas Nick Saban is the new coach at the University of Texas please shhhh this is a secret don't tell anyone and congrats for not skipping over this Nick Saban is not going to Texas Nick Saban is not going to Texas Nick Saban is not going to Texas Nick Saban is not going to Texas Nick Saban is not going to Texas

ALL IS WELL PEOPLE OF ALACHUA. well just gotta go back to work and roll those sleeves up and---

REAL THINGS ON FACEBOOK. Sure, that makes no fucking sense whatsoever, let's do it.

ETC: Slow down. Grab that wall. Wiggle like you're trynta make your ass fall off. Gas pedal. It's Joan Didion's birthday and you should read all this free writing of hers which is very good and which you can try to do yourself (and fail.) Mario 64 corrupted is the most corrupt thing you will ever see. The World Cup Draw is tomorrow, so get learnt.