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THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL: BOOSIE FOR LSU HEAD OF RECRUITING
BOOSIE FREE? GEAUX TIGAHSIf Lil Boosie wrote more than a thousand songs in prison, we sincerely hope at least four hundred of them are about LSU football. Furthermore, we hope this leads to the first...
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WELCOME TO THE SEC, BRENT. HERE ARE SOME PLACES TO GAMBLE
YOU'LL NEED SOME ACTION, AND HERE'S WHERE TO FIND IT, BRENTBrent Musburger is moving to the new SEC Network as their number one announcer, pairing with Jesse Palmer to cover ESPN's share of the SEC...
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THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL CRAVES FROZEN CORN DOGS
PULLMAN NEEDS HIGHER FROZEN FOOD THEFT STANDARDS It's amazing how flexible the definitions of "food" can be depending on context and geography. For instance, take anything eaten in the Midwest that...
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THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL IS GOING TO JAIL
EIGHT MONTHS IN THE PEN FOR A BLAZER AND AN EXPENSE ACCOUNTJohn, just tell people you got into some trouble in Arizona. Everyone in prison will understand that, because everyone in prison knows there...
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OFFSEASON FOOLISHNESS: THINGS TO LIKE ABOUT COLLEGE BASKETBALL
THE FUTILE ATTEMPT TO WATCH SOMETHING WE DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUTMARSHALL HENDERSONHe won't be in the NCAA Tournament. However, he should be allowed to sign on as a free agent with an NCAA tournament...
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The List: Bracket schools that could have been real for all you know
The SB Nation staff believes almost any school seems like a believable 16-seed in the NCAA Tournament. Even the fake ones. .m-sbnation-2014-march-madness { display: block; width: 100%;...
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PLEASE HELP CATCH THIS PERVY MUPPET PEEING ON PEOPLE IN GAINESVILLE
HE LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU AND ME, IF WE WERE MUPPETSPolice in Gainesville release a composite sketch of an accused serial urinator. pic.twitter.com/K8XxHuATYj— News4Jax (@wjxt4) March 17, 2014If you see...
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THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL: MARK RICHT HAS LOST CONTROL OF DOUBLE DIPPIN'
WHEN YOU DIP I DIP WE OH CRAPGeorgia's arc as a program in the criminal sense under Mark Richt follows the football program's: constant, even performance, but never managing to pulling off the really...
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THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL WONDERS WHY THIS MAN HAS NO OSCAR
BEHOLD THAT HANDSOME REFEREEThe football scene in M*A*S*H is the greatest football scene in any movie: total chaos, cheating, profanity, lots of mashy line play, and confused and excited spectators....
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THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL: SOME THINGS HAVE EASY ANSWERS
HEY, WATER COOLER FOLKS, WHAT'S THE WORST DEFENSE EVER HEY WAIT WHERE ARE YOU GOING---We were sitting around wondering what the worst defense we'd ever seen was, and it's Kansas 2011. What was meant to...
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DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT
MOST PHYSICALLY DOMINATEWHY ARE WE BAD AT EVERYTHING NOW GODDAMMIT FIRE EVERYONE YOU ARE ALL IDIOTS EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU WHYYYYY WE BLAME CORRINE BROWN FOR CURSING US IT'S ALL BEEN DOWNHILL SINCE THEN...
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THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL: TAKE OUR STUPID MONEY
THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA, LET'S DO IT IMMEDIATELY WHAT IS IT? We have no idea. It looks like some kind of tailgating fantasia conjured out of the ghost of a shipping container, complete with bar,...
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CORN DOG TRAGEDY IN LOUISIANA
PRAY 4 CORNDOGZ, THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH LSU WHATSOEVERCorn dogs are scattered all over I-220 in north LA after 18-wheeler overturned this morning. http://t.co/xI5ry6nJeUpic.twitter.com/l0GdqvX0bR—...
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You can't dunk a football because the NFL doesn't need human things anymore
The NFL is banning dunking a football over the goalpost. In the NFL, football is a distraction, excitement is a danger, and eventually humans can be eliminated from the equation entirely.The NFL has...
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THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL: R.I.P., WILL MCKAMEY
HE WAS NINETEENHe was nineteen. That's the part that sticks in my head over and over again: he was nineteen years old. That's the part that sticks with us a half day after Navy announced his death: he...
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Arian Foster hates Caillou and you should, too
Caillou -- one of the worst creations spawned by man -- has made a mortal enemy in Arian Foster. Now, the Texans running back is looking to rally against this despicable, hairless child. Arian Foster...
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TEXTBOOKS ARE FULL OF LIES, COLLEGE FOOTBALL EDITION
HOOK 'EM, HAIL SATAN, WHATEVERhook 'em pic.twitter.com/TpaUU3dHhe— Cespedes Family BBQ (@CespedesBBQ) March 27, 2014Our nation's textbooks are full of lies. For instance, a Texas fan's hand signalling...
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THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL: AMERICA'S PASTIME RETURNS
AH, BASEBALL! The crack of the bat, the dew on the grass, the sound of the ball whapping into a leather glove. Ah, the national pastime!Back at last! America at full bloom, resplendent in her love of...
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BLAKE BORTLES DRAFT PROFILE (AS DONE BY A COLLEGE FOOTBALL FAN)
WE ASK THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION IN ALL OF FOOTBALL: CAN THIS MAN F#@$ YOUR WHOLE WORLD UP? We now look at the upcoming class of beloved college players and answer the only question a dedicated...
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TWITTER CAPERS OF WEST VIRGINIA
ALWAYS CHECK TO SEE DM OR PUBLIC, DANGITHey that's not the DM button! RT @bhertzel: shell you still SID under this clown H olgorsen you would quit. It's a disaster— Brandon Priddy (@abpriddy) March 31,...
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