R.I.P., Louis Zamperini
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/F0pulc6kDsk" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe> He shook Hitler's hand at the 1936 Olympics, survived a B-24 crash, spent 47 days...
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THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE (SPORTSWRITING EDITION)
HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, TEAM PLAYERSWhen in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the...
View ArticleOn ending another player's career
During the breakdown of the play he starts to scramble to the outside and my first thought is "Please God let him throw the ball away". He pump fakes once and my second thought is "PLEASE GOD LET HIM...
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THE SOLUTION TO A DRAB SEASON: EVERY TEAM A SEQUEL
FLORIDA NEEDS A FRANCHISE REBOOT. THAT MEANS WE NEED SEQUELS.Conceptually, it is very, very hard to want to wake up, see the morning sun splitting your brain open through the blinds, and say without...
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Alan Thicke stars in a horrifying soccer promo
Short shorts, a spectacular mullet, and Alan Thicke humiliating his children You can't embed it, so you will have to watch Alan Thicke wearing the shortest shorts a forty-year-old man has ever worn in...
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THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL: GO AHEAD AND CRY, KID
WE WISH WE HAD HAPPY NEWS FOR YOU, BRAZIL KID. (WE DON'T.)Dear kid:I have nothing for you. Maybe it's worse when your team is good, and there is the hope of winning. If you'll notice, fans of desolate,...
View ArticleYou must read "I Am Zlatan" and this is why
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/iZ_degb-2D8" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe> 1. I am Zlatan is brilliant, and you should read it, and not just because the PSG...
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THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL CONSIDERS THE BEAUTIFUL DAY AHEAD
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL MORNING, AND IT'S NOTIt is a beautiful day. Look at all the things you get to do: wake up in a free country, stretch your legs over the side of your extremely comfortable bed, and...
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20 reasons we loved the 2014 World Cup
There were many things to love about this year's World Cup. 1. Joel Campbell waltzing around pregnant with a ball. Scoring against Uruguay gave Costa Rica's Joel Campbell the opportunity to flaunt...
View ArticleMile High Baseball: Consuming legal marijuana, enjoying America's pastime,...
Spencer Hall decided to go to a baseball game in one of two states where marijuana is legal. He used marijuana before and during the game. He took notes, and later tried to remember what they...
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LETS TALK ABOUT BUTTS, AMERICA
BRET BIELEMA IS WRONG ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS, BUT BUTTS ARE NOT ONEHe's got an incredible ass.--Bret Bielema on defensive tackle Bijhon JacksonIt's time we had an honest talk about butts, America. We...
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THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL: WHAT WILL ANGER NICK SABAN TODAY?
NICK SABAN WILL BE MAD TODAY ABOUT...SOMETHINGThat thing you're doing with your teeth where your mouth moves and he can see them while you push air over your vocal cords and make noises that make no...
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A MOMENT OF REVERIE FOR BOBBY PETRINO
NEVER GIVE UP. NEVER, EVER GIVE UP. "Coach, thank for joining us today.""My pleasure, Blam.""It's been a real long road back to Louisville. What have you learned on the way?"Bobby Petrino right now on...
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ALABAMA SACKS ZACH METTENBERGER ONE MORE TIME
HE'S SUFFERED ENOUGH"It is what it is and it's over. No one is pressing charges," Ford said. "It shouldn't have happened to begin with. The guy said 'Roll Tide.' He tried to provoke him. But Zach did...
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DABO SWINNEY DEFENDS THE LOWLY PLANETOID
MARS IS JUST EARTH WITH AN EXTRA MOONSteve Spurrier on Dabo Swinney’s "He’s from Pluto, I’m from Mars" quote: "Dabo still thinks there are 9 planets out there" — Brett McMurphy (@McMurphyESPN) July 22,...
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A MESSAGE FROM THE FARMERS OF IOWA
YOU EAT WHAT YOU WANT. IOWA'S READY TO HELP WHEN YOU ARE. This post is sponsored content announcement from the Iowa Farmers' Association.There's been a lot of talk about carbohydrates. Negative talk,...
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CHARLIE STRONG HAS KICKED YOU OFF THE TEAM
ALL OF YOU ARE FIREDCharlie's not seeing the effort. You're off the team. You say you can't hold a bar. Charlie says all he can hear are excuses. An animal with four stomachs and yet Charlie doesn't...
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How to make a 2014 preseason college football top 25
Preseason college football rankings are very important. Did you know you can make your own? Just follow this guide.Since July won't die, and it's been eight years since we've tried to explain how...
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A SPOKEN WORD PIECE ABOUT LARRY FEDORA
PLEASE BE SILENT AND IN RESPECT TO YOUR FELLOW POETS KEEP YOUR READING TO UNDER FOUR MINUTESLarry Fedora, w/daughter, on his 6-pack abs secret: "No beer, no cardio, lift weights 45 minutes 4 days/week"...
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THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL: ANSWERING SOME EMAIL
OH BOY A QUESTION FROM A READER WE CAN'T REALLY ANSWER WITHOUT TALKING ABOUT BAD FOOTBALLOh, look, an email.1. We don't know if this is Hobson's Choice. Hobson's choice is named after Thomas Hobson, a...
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